Thursday, April 19, 2012

Facebook and big bad world!!!

Ok … I think ive officially lost it. Its in the Mangy genes I am made to believe, To snoop, investigate , and be in the know of the happenning of other peoples life. Guys I confess I am a Facebook addict ( Did that Zukerberg guy just smirk, jerk). I sound hopeless, but its like I have this inbuilt clock within my system, that I need to open FB exactly every two minutes. I know…. What could possibly change in 2 mins? (only 120 seconds)

So here’s how I start my day . I begin by logging into Lotus Notes, my official work mail account, which actually takes like eternity to launch. So .. in the mean time I happily open FB, and in lighting speed im all over the place, checking my notifications, customary wishes for birthdays, Like some silly comments, browse through some adventurous photos taken by people on their latest trip to Honolulu or was it Thimbaktu? And viola before I know it its been half an hour, conveniently forgotten about my beloved Lotus notes, What Notes ?

A year ago it was Farmville, that stupid game, I stopped playing it sometime back, because I got bored of gifting cows, horses and sheep’s to my friends. One time I got soo bugged, that I swear I wanted to go hunt for a real cow AND throw on someone’s face. That would have been, so much fun. You know the feeling when you get some 50 notifications, you feel important, n happy, a sense of pride, but exactly the opposite happens when you realize that 48 of the notifications were requests from Farmville, city ville and some x number of awesomelicious-crappyvilles . Sheesh, One Day a friend of mine, V called me with such urgency “Listen she said, I need a favour.. Always ready to help, Sure , I replied. Can you please plough my field, I’m tied up and if I don’t my plants will die.. My mother, who was sitting close by, who was as usual eves dropping on my conversation, was flabbergasted, about me ploughing a field and sowing sunflower seeds. I tried explaining its existence in the virtual world, but little did she understand. MJ who is an excel expert also created a Farmville Spreadsheet, on what generates the most revenue, what to plant in the morning, noon and So on. Such expert strategy , That would put the players of online gaming to shame. Lets move on, Crappyvilles are now history. PHEW!!!

My 18 year old cousin is this most happening thing on planet earth I think, Every weekend are at multiple parties, with lots of alcohol, pretty dresses, cool dudes, and 200 photos with exactly the same posses. One of my favourite pastime is to spot the differences between similar photos- 1,Hair slightly moved 2 Right leg straightened :P . ANYHOOOO makes me feel ashamed of my boring life sitting at home, logging onto FB and waiting GG and VD (makes me happening). Ok, ok im exaggerating, But none of the above happens, we are too old, and bored to Doll up, Or made to think that way, where are the cool Dudes ??? (SERIOUSLY, WHERE ??? my age , WHERE ?? ), we take pics too, but somehow they make us look retarded on FB, How?? . Kids these days I tell u, SIGH, Rem I said 18 :D

I’m going to now learn photoshop, and cut my picture and place them under different backgrounds, in front of the Alps, Under water, white beaches with green water , romantic clouds, why should others look all adventurous, an have such amazing lives? I wanna be cool too, Yo man, yo !!!

Anyhoooooooo long story cut short, I’ve tried everything to get rid of this addiction, Ive gone out of facebook, ( G quit FB again, boring story said the other) tried to challenge my self to not logging in, tried to keep my logging in just once a day, BUT No respite, I return to my dirty ways, Old habits die hard they say. Did I just say OLD ? :d I need Help, Someone please save me .

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Swalpa Adjust Maadi

Anybody who has lived in Bangalore for a few days, surely have come across these obnoxious fools called auto drivers in the city. Having found home in this city, I can’t but feel helpless about, being cheated right under my nose, harressed, occasionally horrified , and even verbally abused by these scheming and calculative vultures.

You wouldn’t be horrified by my above language, if you have been privy of the behavior of these so called horrid beings. I think we the Banglorean’s should stop this Swalpa Adjust Maadi attitude and start, STOP taking Autos. HIGH TIME!!!!!. Im sure even with the ever increasing insane Fuel rates, Buy a vehicle you’ll manage to save more than, to hitch a ride with these hoodwinkers.

Let me throw you a random question? How many a time have you stopped an auto mention the place you wanted to go, only to have him move on without any rhyme or reason? Hello .. not that we plan to hitch free rides in autos, But they refuse still . Next time you want to use an Auto rickshaw, Start by asking where is he headed to, only then request him to drop you at the point most convenient.
Note to Auto Wallah: Its rude to just drive off before I even complete my sentence, some of the places in Bangalore have rather long names. Lakshminar……. Oi swalpa wait maadi saar !!

Oh and if you have too much money to splurge, please to be lending some money to me , I loves that Pair of Jimmy choos i saw last week .. Droollll…. Jokes apart, minumum 20 for an autofare is first of all ridiculous to pay, on top of that these people have some auspicious numbers like 10 Rs more, flat 30, 80 , 120, double meter etc. A ride from Garuda Mall to 100 feet road indiranagar -77 Bucks.. Bollocks or what ?
Question to AutoWallah: So, do you ever ride on meter ?

And Whyyy!! Oh Why Do you refuse to give back change? Wonly 1Rs Madam.. Aap ko kya farak padtha.. Saar ji, I don’t drive an auto to make the kind of money you make. Also my company is kanjoos (like me) and they do not even add Re 1 /-(extra) to my salary. I bloody work day n night, ( Ok I do update blog in between, but that’s hard work too ). So why should I give you the luxury of extra money?
Note to Auto Guy: Next time u want Re 1 extra I will make you do Sit-ups (10 Situps for each Re you demand well earned) suggestions welcome

Have you been to a Disco on Rickshaw? Some Of these fellows play the latest of the superrrrrrr hit item songs Back –to-Back on Hi volume? My friend recently was scandalized because the Auto Dude kept playing cheezy hit numbers , while giving her the looks in the rear view mirror. Needless to say my horrified friend immediately stopped the auto n walked to my place .
Auto Dude: Bollywood is to be blamed for your yuckyness, But please check your self 1st in that rear view mirror, before checking out others.

Finally I make a frugal attempt to convince you to stop taking nonsense from the auto fraternity. Have you tried the Volvo Busses they are air conditioned just what you need this summer. Besides, perhaps you may just enjoy the journey for a change

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

So, When are you Getting Married ?

This is the one question every single Human being on earth asks me these days. Now I am NOT referring to inquisitive Mangy Aunties who are always looking for latest scoop, as usual not minding their own business. Not my parents who are hitting roof and diving the ocean every time they hear the word MARRIAGE or anything remotely close to this word. BUT I am talking about random acquaintances, colleagues who really should mind their own business, friends of friends who have no idea about me , Brothers friends, and my kid cousin who can barely spell the (annoying) word.

Yet another favourite statement, your pretty, … you can get anyone.. Yea Right 1st I am not pretty 2nd even if I had the looks I want someone to like me for who I am, not who I look like LOL did anyone tell you I am Loola, moody, anti social, lil weird at times, Sudden bursts of laughter for no specific reason, sudden burst of tears too. compulsive wailer and many more . On the plus side I’m educated, smart , hilarious ( Degree is PJs), cool, Have a job, and blessed with common sense

Aren’t your parents looking out for you ? YEA my parents have given up hope long ago , after searching the earth, oceans and sea’s and the moon, they are now looking for prospective grooms from outer space, Do you know of anyone from there?? The daughter in question has high demands which will be addressed in another post ( Or couple of posts). But to meet these demands they are checking other universes, and are in constant touch with NASA. Last heard the daughter just rejected a proposal from MARS. Talk about wanting the Moon !!!

Now let me address this situation once an for all. I am not married YET because I haven’t found the one, and I am not gonna compromise on what I want ( Call me choosy , arrogant, hi-hopes …whatever). I am a dreamer, I still believe in fairy tales, in happily ever after’s , in soul-mates , In Love , and Im sure its just taking- the Maker a little longer to meet the long list that’s all. After all perfection does take time :P. BUT actually , Its really none of your business !!!! Go figure which figure of speech, that was said inJ

Below is a conversation between me and a friend of mine
XYZ: When are you getting married?
ME : Thinks ( let me shut him up forever) Smiles :Me NOT getting married yaar J
XYS : WHT !!!!!!
ME: what part of the statement did you NOT understand?
XYZ: “NOT”
ME: gushes he’s scandalized . Ok lets not scandalize you . will do so when I find “the ONE” :p

The purpose of writing this post is to answer this question once and forall, and mind you if anyone new wants to know WHY I am not yet married, you will be directed to this post. So don’t blame me you asked for It .. TADAAAAAAAAA