To Enid Blyton with Love

Dear Enid Blyton ma’am

It’s with utmost gratitude that I write to you today, for it is because of you, that I began my love affair with books, it’s been a lasting one so far. The stories that you narrated through your simple, yet no nonsense writing always took me to an alternative world. Many a night I have waited up late, reading under a blanket, with a torch light in hand till almost dawn. No matter what, I just HAD to know how the 5 solved the mystery or and the secret 7 with Little scamper solved crimes.

What fun it was when I read the Malory towers. How you detailed every individual of the class, how perfect were they through all their imperfections. I loved how the Alicia John, the class bully learnt her lesson the hard way, Or Mary Low the Mouse like creature - timid and introverted without confidence found her new spirit to keep it going. How van anyone not mention the Adventures of Noddy and the Three Golliwalks . How detailed , and perfectly did they fit into the minds eye? There always was a lesson to learn, a tip to mull upon and at times after being inspired I also did talk n act like a few characters from your novels, much to the annoyance of mamma.

You would be glad to know that there has been no looking back since then. I graduated from your novels to much more serious stuff like R L Stine’s Fear Street, and Riverdale high School. From there on there was a short but (I’m embarrassed to say) stint of Mills n Boons which I read in class right under the noses of my lecturers. Post that short affair with M&B I began reading Archer, Agatha Christie, Daphne Du Maurier, The Little Black Dress Books, The Shopoholic stories , Indian writing,

Today I read pretty much everything I can get my hands on, from Humor to philosophy, from murder mystery to a romantic mushy one. From fantasy to autobiographies I read them all . The LOTR is my all time fav book , I hope you read and liked it too Its fantasy-fiction at its best. The movie does not come even close to what the book details.

Iv ditched soo many party nights, night outs, movies n TV sessions just because the book was much too interesting to put down. No regrets what-so-ever, Id do it all over again if the case arises. Id like to thank you yet again for imbibing in me the love for books, I can never be bored. I really don’t have to sulk if im not invited to a party. I don’t have to feel alone when everyone else is busy. There always is just too much to read and just too little time.

Cheers, to you for all those nights which have turned into morning and all those lazy days which have taken me to another world. Ive visited more places that I can imagine and learnt more than I would have otherwise. I’ve cried, laughed, freaked out, sworn, rejoiced, and cried again all through 1 book. This one goes out to you.

Regards

When it rains, it pours!!!

Having been born and brought up in the beautiful city of Mangalore, the Rainy season is the one which I have many memories of. Mangalore rains are not which many of you know of, to understand one must experience. Nothing better than the sound of pitter patter in the background for hours n hours together which would soon  merge with our other day to day noises. The blasting TV , mom yelling, Sibling fights, the Dogs bark, or the occasional reminder to bring him in. All in the back ground of the musical,  thundering rain.

Usually without warning, one moment we would face the scorching sun, and totally taken by surprise an equally next moment it would begin pouring and how !!.  Since it rains n rains andddddd (for the effect) rains drying washed clothes would become a mighty pain, we have an open terrace where we  usually put the clothes to dry and knowing the mangalore sun they would dry within a few hours. BUT during the rains, the clothes usually find shelter in other rooms of the house, Mom also found a room just for the clothes, soon enough the clothes would begin to walk into other rooms, railings and window panes.  Even A minute of Sunshine would have us running like mad bulls with clothes finding their places for a little sun bath and would have us running at an equally alarming speed when it suddenly begins to rain, of course, out of nowhere. Its hard to explain, but people who have lived there will connect.

Heard of umbrella fashion? Sure enough each year  the style of umbrellas used to change, from extra tiny pocket umbrellas, to the Ajjana Kode(Grandfathers walking stick), From the girly ones, with flowers and frills, to the standard black boring ones. Every June mom took me shopping to buy an umbrella which was in fashion. While she picked up a couple of other boring ones for the house and of course with the torrential rains we needed a reserve.

I have many a memory of walking to school / college with an umbrella in tow, sharing umbrellas with unknown passerbys, Friends who forgot umbrellas, and getting totally drenched. Sometimes the rain would begin playing  games with our umbrellas turning them upside down , Breaking the sticks holding the umbrella together, almost flying the umbrella like a kite, We walked yet, in the cyclonic rain. Getting home completely soaked with water, Mother would, start us a quick HOT bath and steaming hot milk (we never drank tea/ coffe then) and snacks, It sure was a very comforting feeling.

A few of my friends , planned a trip during the rains, and we decided to go to Manipal which is an Hour away from Mangalore. My Dad was generous enough to lend his car and we began the drive. Soon enough it began to pour , my friend who had never driven in such rain was taken aback, we could hardly see the road, Yet busses would race with you, It was almost a guessing game , where would the next pot hole be, we had to use our non performing, intuitive abilities, where was the next turn? Is there a vehicle ahead of us OH GOSH !! what a relief that we had made it in one piece. I doubt any of us would forget about that night.  Oh Sure, IT didn’t stop raining until we reached Manipal.

Now when people complain about the heavy rains in Bangalore, I smirk, they really DO-NOT know what they are talking about. I am heading right back home this rainly season. A hot cup of coffee at my Terrace with the soothing rain outside is something my heart just years for these days.

TADA!!!

Who said women don’t swear??

A friend of mine introduced me to the great Osho’s  “Strange consequences” explaining in details the Meaning and Versatility of the word F*** and its use in almost every context, situation, expression, circumstance and it changes meaning with every sentence.  (If you haven’t yet listened to it, read the post 1^ST then move about to wherever you have to )

Now when I was growing up we (me n my Bro) were both warned about using bad language at home Forget F’s n B s even a world like Idiot and stupid was taken up very seriously by my parents. We were very careful about what we spoke, But then Manipal happened, hostel life happened and I moved to a whole new city and my language took a 360degree makeover and suddenly it was sooo ok to say things like “ im sooooo screwed” , “He’s a Dumb F ***”  Etc .  There is just no better way to say certain things – especially for the added effect. And, if by any chance my parents were to read my thoughts minute by minute, then God help me, I do not know what will happen to me, No, correction I do not know what will happen to them. Enough said.

Random conversations in my mind go like:

To a random fool driving on the road- Asshole is he blind or what?
To a scamster auto - That Bleddy dickhead charged me 100 freaking bucks from one end of MGs to the other. WTF is that , Insane, Bullshit- Im justified you’ll agree
Shit, Im soo screwed, My parents are gonna eff my happiness.
and my favourite That Arsehole in distress.. …. Blah blah blah

You get the Drift.

Now Relax, Please don’t be embarrassed of me I can assure you that I am ladylike to the T.  I am pretty much sophisticated that way, you know.  Depending on the scenario I can change my language narration skill, From No profanity, Medium Profanity and High Profanity. Also I can play the role of Total Gandhi Putri, The La –di da types with Flowery, Flowey language, The arty Farty type, with Ooh N AAHS And has anyone told you I can also play the princess (Royalty) role to perfection . I also get enough routine practice on my numerous trips back home where I NEED to watch my motor mouth especially If someone, something ticks me off. Some things just do not change, Do they?

I don’t hope I get an A+ Rating for my post. You men please sit down, no one asked you for your opinion.. I know compared to your thrash mouths,  (by which even colgate plax wont be enough to get rid of the stinky vocab used), I must sound like an angel. :P So the question is so women swear, yes!! Much more than you think we do. We are just really really good at playing innocent.

Don’t Blame me, Blame the great OSHO afterall he  was 1^st discussed “THE”WORD in detail

XO XO

ME

PS: dunno what S**t I wrote in the last para I just wanted to meet the 500 word count
PS1: FASSST put down your comments, WARNA .. ul heard from my Motor Mouth.

Facebook and big bad world!!!

Ok … I think ive officially lost it. Its in the Mangy genes I am made to believe, To snoop, investigate , and be in the know of the happenning of other peoples life. Guys I confess I am a Facebook addict ( Did that Zukerberg guy just smirk, jerk). I sound hopeless, but its like I have this inbuilt clock within my system, that I need to open FB exactly every two minutes. I know…. What could possibly change in 2 mins? (only 120 seconds)

So here’s how I start my day . I begin by logging into Lotus Notes, my official work mail account, which actually takes like eternity to launch. So .. in the mean time I happily open FB, and in lighting speed im all over the place, checking my notifications, customary wishes for birthdays, Like some silly comments, browse through some adventurous photos taken by people on their latest trip to Honolulu or was it Thimbaktu? And viola before I know it its been half an hour, conveniently forgotten about my beloved Lotus notes, What Notes ?

A year ago it was Farmville, that stupid game, I stopped playing it sometime back, because I got bored of gifting cows, horses and sheep’s to my friends. One time I got soo bugged, that I swear I wanted to go hunt for a real cow AND throw on someone’s face. That would have been, so much fun. You know the feeling when you get some 50 notifications, you feel important, n happy, a sense of pride, but exactly the opposite happens when you realize that 48 of the notifications were requests from Farmville, city ville and some x number of awesomelicious-crappyvilles . Sheesh, One Day a friend of mine, V called me with such urgency “Listen she said, I need a favour.. Always ready to help, Sure , I replied. Can you please plough my field, I’m tied up and if I don’t my plants will die.. My mother, who was sitting close by, who was as usual eves dropping on my conversation, was flabbergasted, about me ploughing a field and sowing sunflower seeds. I tried explaining its existence in the virtual world, but little did she understand. MJ who is an excel expert also created a Farmville Spreadsheet, on what generates the most revenue, what to plant in the morning, noon and So on. Such expert strategy , That would put the players of online gaming to shame. Lets move on, Crappyvilles are now history. PHEW!!!

My 18 year old cousin is this most happening thing on planet earth I think, Every weekend are at multiple parties, with lots of alcohol, pretty dresses, cool dudes, and 200 photos with exactly the same posses. One of my favourite pastime is to spot the differences between similar photos- 1,Hair slightly moved 2 Right leg straightened :P . ANYHOOOO makes me feel ashamed of my boring life sitting at home, logging onto FB and waiting GG and VD (makes me happening). Ok, ok im exaggerating, But none of the above happens, we are too old, and bored to Doll up, Or made to think that way, where are the cool Dudes ??? (SERIOUSLY, WHERE ??? my age , WHERE ?? ), we take pics too, but somehow they make us look retarded on FB, How?? . Kids these days I tell u, SIGH, Rem I said 18 :D

I’m going to now learn photoshop, and cut my picture and place them under different backgrounds, in front of the Alps, Under water, white beaches with green water , romantic clouds, why should others look all adventurous, an have such amazing lives? I wanna be cool too, Yo man, yo !!!

Anyhoooooooo long story cut short, I’ve tried everything to get rid of this addiction, Ive gone out of facebook, ( G quit FB again, boring story said the other) tried to challenge my self to not logging in, tried to keep my logging in just once a day, BUT No respite, I return to my dirty ways, Old habits die hard they say. Did I just say OLD ? :d I need Help, Someone please save me .

Swalpa Adjust Maadi

Anybody who has lived in Bangalore for a few days, surely have come across these obnoxious fools called auto drivers in the city. Having found home in this city, I can’t but feel helpless about, being cheated right under my nose, harressed, occasionally horrified , and even verbally abused by these scheming and calculative vultures.

You wouldn’t be horrified by my above language, if you have been privy of the behavior of these so called horrid beings. I think we the Banglorean’s should stop this Swalpa Adjust Maadi attitude and start, STOP taking Autos. HIGH TIME!!!!!. Im sure even with the ever increasing insane Fuel rates, Buy a vehicle you’ll manage to save more than, to hitch a ride with these hoodwinkers.

Let me throw you a random question? How many a time have you stopped an auto mention the place you wanted to go, only to have him move on without any rhyme or reason? Hello .. not that we plan to hitch free rides in autos, But they refuse still . Next time you want to use an Auto rickshaw, Start by asking where is he headed to, only then request him to drop you at the point most convenient.
Note to Auto Wallah: Its rude to just drive off before I even complete my sentence, some of the places in Bangalore have rather long names. Lakshminar……. Oi swalpa wait maadi saar !!

Oh and if you have too much money to splurge, please to be lending some money to me , I loves that Pair of Jimmy choos i saw last week .. Droollll…. Jokes apart, minumum 20 for an autofare is first of all ridiculous to pay, on top of that these people have some auspicious numbers like 10 Rs more, flat 30, 80 , 120, double meter etc. A ride from Garuda Mall to 100 feet road indiranagar -77 Bucks.. Bollocks or what ?
Question to AutoWallah: So, do you ever ride on meter ?

And Whyyy!! Oh Why Do you refuse to give back change? Wonly 1Rs Madam.. Aap ko kya farak padtha.. Saar ji, I don’t drive an auto to make the kind of money you make. Also my company is kanjoos (like me) and they do not even add Re 1 /-(extra) to my salary. I bloody work day n night, ( Ok I do update blog in between, but that’s hard work too ). So why should I give you the luxury of extra money?
Note to Auto Guy: Next time u want Re 1 extra I will make you do Sit-ups (10 Situps for each Re you demand well earned) suggestions welcome

Have you been to a Disco on Rickshaw? Some Of these fellows play the latest of the superrrrrrr hit item songs Back –to-Back on Hi volume? My friend recently was scandalized because the Auto Dude kept playing cheezy hit numbers , while giving her the looks in the rear view mirror. Needless to say my horrified friend immediately stopped the auto n walked to my place .
Auto Dude: Bollywood is to be blamed for your yuckyness, But please check your self 1^st in that rear view mirror, before checking out others.

Finally I make a frugal attempt to convince you to stop taking nonsense from the auto fraternity. Have you tried the Volvo Busses they are air conditioned just what you need this summer. Besides, perhaps you may just enjoy the journey for a change

So, When are you Getting Married ?

This is the one question every single Human being on earth asks me these days. Now I am NOT referring to inquisitive Mangy Aunties who are always looking for latest scoop, as usual not minding their own business. Not my parents who are hitting roof and diving the ocean every time they hear the word MARRIAGE or anything remotely close to this word. BUT I am talking about random acquaintances, colleagues who really should mind their own business, friends of friends who have no idea about me , Brothers friends, and my kid cousin who can barely spell the (annoying) word.

Yet another favourite statement, your pretty, … you can get anyone.. Yea Right 1^st I am not pretty 2^nd even if I had the looks I want someone to like me for who I am, not who I look like LOL did anyone tell you I am Loola, moody, anti social, lil weird at times, Sudden bursts of laughter for no specific reason, sudden burst of tears too. compulsive wailer and many more . On the plus side I’m educated, smart , hilarious ( Degree is PJs), cool, Have a job, and blessed with common sense

Aren’t your parents looking out for you ? YEA my parents have given up hope long ago , after searching the earth, oceans and sea’s and the moon, they are now looking for prospective grooms from outer space, Do you know of anyone from there?? The daughter in question has high demands which will be addressed in another post ( Or couple of posts). But to meet these demands they are checking other universes, and are in constant touch with NASA. Last heard the daughter just rejected a proposal from MARS. Talk about wanting the Moon !!!

Now let me address this situation once an for all. I am not married YET because I haven’t found the one, and I am not gonna compromise on what I want ( Call me choosy , arrogant, hi-hopes …whatever). I am a dreamer, I still believe in fairy tales, in happily ever after’s , in soul-mates , In Love , and Im sure its just taking- the Maker a little longer to meet the long list that’s all. After all perfection does take time :P. BUT actually , Its really none of your business !!!! Go figure which figure of speech, that was said inJ

Below is a conversation between me and a friend of mine
XYZ: When are you getting married?
ME : Thinks ( let me shut him up forever) Smiles :Me NOT getting married yaar J
XYS : WHT !!!!!!
ME: what part of the statement did you NOT understand?
XYZ: “NOT”
ME: gushes he’s scandalized . Ok lets not scandalize you . will do so when I find “the ONE” :p

The purpose of writing this post is to answer this question once and forall, and mind you if anyone new wants to know WHY I am not yet married, you will be directed to this post. So don’t blame me you asked for It .. TADAAAAAAAAA

How Wannabe are you?

I was messing around on a friends phone book when he received a call from “wannabe” . I found it strange that he called his friend wanna-be because, he apparently tried too hard to look kwel. Now everybody needs a Wannabe friend, otherwise who do we laugh and take major digs on? I know its rude, but a little fun , and insult never killed anyone right? Especially behind their backs. *Sniggers.. ah Sigh

I had this totally wacked out colleague who used to turn every conversation towards him with his “yeh tho kuch bhi nahhin hain!!-yeh.. Im superior to your superior-ness . To get the drift its like my daddy stronger than yours kind of scenario. Everybody likes to feel important, but it gets ridiculous when you want to sound important and make some totally unbelievable, unimaginable unwhatever-able claim. Sorry we aren’t impressed- go tell Ripley. But our said hero has un knowingly provided some of us with some hi level entertainment.

Wanting to do something and trying to be someone you are not are two different things. Agreed that we all need people to love, admire and looked upto. But it’s a total different ball game when you start being a whole new person. I know of someone who supposedly has a European ascent ( I beg to differ). Parties in places with only foreigners (Hello ???), drinks only expensive alcohol, wears expensive clothes ( I love clothes but tommy has some shit stuff too ) and is totally a different person I knew a few years ago. I still don’t get why the effort to eat drink and be someone else? And why do most Indians who go onsite come back with a major cross whatever ascent, Honey!! its annoying not cool, Just saying .

Ok, ok I’m guilty of my own nautankiness as well, but most of the time I’m sure I turn out looking plain stupid. I was born and still am a proud drama queen. Well at least with the close ones who are like minded get the pun-intended stuff, ( princess wave n a kiss :P) but sadly most people don’t. I’m sure people must be laughing behind my back side as to what a bleddy cuckoo I am L.But what ever I don’t try hard to look oh! so kwel ,I am :D

Whats your wannabe factor? Id love to hear your bit.